This Isn’t Forever

The past two months have allowed us time to think, fester, worry, exercise, learn new things, etc. With the onset of Covid-19, a lot of posts, articles, and videos are circulating the news media and social media. I’ve been seeing so many posts and articles that cause fear, separation, anger, sadness. I see fear-based posts, vicious comments, and overall dissent among people.

Of course, many of the posts center around Covid-19. What surprises me is the insinuation in the articles and posts that we as a species were invincible to such diseases because we are not as primitive as those say, in 1918 when a flu took the world by storm. I’ve seen both comment sections and posts saying that we shouldn’t have gotten this because we have soap, we are clean, and we have the technology to avoid this. The fact of the matter is, that is complete ego stating we are better than our ancestors when we are still equal in the matter of being human. Humans have dealt with “plague” since the beginning of our culture. Also, technology and soap will never fully protect us from zoonotic diseases because as long as we engage in animal agriculture, we will be faced with diseases such as Covid (bats), tuberculosis (cows), measles (cows), flu (pigs and chickens), E. Coli (fecal matter of cows, sheep, and pigs), and the list goes on. Even with our study and knowledge of zoonotic diseases, that has not translated to the wisdom of foregoing animal products in the name of health, the environment, and the animals. There are hundreds of posts about how to treat Covid and when there will be a vaccine, but there are none about preventing (other than social distancing). Why not discuss what Irish medical doctors have found? They find a correlation between a vitamin D deficiency and Covid. Therefor, we need to tell people to make sure they are supplementing their diets with a Vitamin D supplement daily. Folate is another vitamin that assists in cellular division and can help protect cells from virus invasion. Another possible prevention and treatment is the intake of Vitamin C. Vitamin C is an antioxidant that boosts immunity. The problem in the U.S. is that our healthcare system is a for-profit system and because of this, prevention is often not discussed because it doesn’t create profit for our healthcare system. Many of these “alternative” treatments are being conducted outside of the U.S. where healthcare is socialized. As for the vaccine, it’s frustrating that we engage in animal agriculture, know about zoonotic diseases, still consume animals, then get sick, then create a vaccine because of all of the preceding factors, which has its own host of side-effects. Gah! Why? Stop the circular madness and cut out the one huge facto in all of this–consuming animals! We can change and we can save billions of lives in the process.

Other posts I’m now seeing are those about drought due to the positioning of the sun. Killer hornets looking to kill bees (our pollinators we desperately need). And just yesterday, a plane crash. Again, we are not the first humans to deal with drought and pests that are threatening our food supply. On the contrary, this too has been happening for millennia. And the plane crash, while tragic, reading about those things, even reading or watching the news daily, can contribute to depression and anxiety. If we’re in a state of constant fear, that increases cortisol levels which increases inflammation and lowers immunity making you more susceptible to getting sick.

Herein lies my frustration, we think we’re superior as a species and invincible because of our advances. But after reading the Ishmael series by Daniel Quinn, I’ve come to realize we’re a part of a culture that focuses on separation–the haves and haves-not, the democrats and republicans, the Russians and Europe, North vs. South Korea, black and white. That separation didn’t used to exist, or wouldn’t have lasted long, with our tribal ancestors because it was in the best interest of the tribe to help one another in order to be efficient, harmonious, and human (yes, there would be territorial disputes but they were never on the scale they are now). Now, we’ve lost that because our culture looks at the tribal element of ourselves as primitive; we are to be able to work and be independent individuals. In doing this we’ve had cause for war, slavery, and political disruption because we view ourselves as separate and even superior or inferior to others. It’s such a huge foundation of our culture that we can barely see it; we look at war, violence, drugs, etc. as a normal part of life (even if we disagree with it, it’s still “normal”). We have forgotten who we are and this has led to us being so disconnected from one another as fellow humans. In a time when we need connection, we’d rather fight about whether or not to wear a mask rather than work as a community to prevent future zoonotic diseases, work as a community to take care of our sick, and/or work as a community to help one another through financial crises. As a species, we need to return to our communal foundation and not separate each other anymore. As a species, we need to realize we aren’t invincible from illness, famine, and threats to our food supply. As a species, we need to remember our ancestors went through so much and they survived. We will too.

I write this today as a reminder to hope and persevere. Those before us dealt with awful things. Can you imagine living through WW2? I’m sure many thought that was an apocalypse. Yes, it was horrendous and too many lives were lost, AND the majority of the world made it through. We will make it through this. Nothing, absolutely nothing, in life is permanent. So, instead of living in fear and anger on social media, go and meditate to alleviate anxiety. Meditation helps slow down your brain getting you to a place of calmness. Go do an online yoga class to move energy out of your body. Read a self-help book (Radical Acceptance: How to Embrace Your Life Like a Buddha by Tara Brach is amazing). Read a fiction book. Staying in anger and fear on social media will only cause you suffering. We are going through this pandemic either way, why do it in fear when you could be learning about yourself?

Intention Rather than Resolution

It’s been awhile since I’ve written. I let the holidays sweep me away, but here I am. I read a post on Instagram that said, “Ditch the resolutions. To resolve means to find a solution to a problem. You are not a problem. The way you showed up for your life the past year was necessary for your growth. Now is a time to reflect. To learn. To create an intention, a positive call to shift, as spark of magic [plus] manifestation rooted in self-love and backed with action.” I don’t know who said this quote, but it really struck home. We all make “resolutions” to eat better, workout more, curse less, etc. While those are all good for the well-being and the soul, they don’t seem to come from a place of love, but rather from the ego telling us we’re wrong–we weigh too much, we eat too many potato chips, we curse too much while driving–and it can even get to a place of self-blame because in coming from ego it’s saying, “I’m not good enough. Something is wrong with me and I have to be fixed.” What if you instead offered yourself compassion and acknowledged you are doing your best? Does it feel odd? Does it feel like you are condoning “poor” behavior? Offering self-compassion doesn’t mean you don’t try to be your best self and take care of your mind and body, rather it inspires you to take care of yourself in those ways because if you love you then you want to take care of you.

This is where intention comes in. Intention is about focusing on your biggest desire to fulfill what you want to come out of this life. When you focus and set a goal to be your best–to learn, to evolve, to be compassionate–this helps you live in the moment and allows you to work toward that intention. As the quote from the Instagram post says, “…rooted in self-love and backed with action,” we must always start from a place of love rather than ego or self-blame so that our actions will carry out those intentions and desires. Instead of resolving to “fix” yourself, you intend to be the divine being that is your true nature by being loving toward yourself and others. Look back on your past actions. They probably weren’t all perfect, and that’s okay! Don’t sit in self-blame, rather look where you can make a change and learn from those experiences–positive and negative.

I’ve been reading a book by Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha, and it has been very transformative. I would highly recommend it because it teaches you that we all have Buddha (divine) nature within us, but our culture constantly tells us we are wrong, sinful, and must work to be better. The truth is we can’t beat ourselves into submission through self-blame. When we accept ourselves as we are, we open the doors to self-compassion, empathy for others, and lovingkindness toward all. This year, I challenge you to accept you and make the intention to accept you. In reading this book, I’ve become more forgiving, kinder, and I even workout more and eat better because I know I deserve that and am worthy of feeling well. I’m by no means perfect. I still get impatient with the dog or annoyed when my son is moving slow in the morning, but what has changed is I am able to stop and say, “Okay, she’s a dog, and dogs bark,” or, “He’s only five, I’ll get where I need to when I do. He’s only little once.” It’s a practice, but having focused intention on accepting myself feels so much better than making a resolution to fix something that never was broken in the first place. I hope your 2019 is off to an amazing start. Love and light, and I hope to see you soon.

Happy Thanksgiving

The holiday season is officially upon us. I talked about taking care of yourself during the chaos of the holidays in my last blog a couple of weeks ago, and with Thanksgiving in two days and Christmas in just over a month, those tips will definitely serve you. We often forget about the “meaning” of the season–spending time with loved ones, enjoying the shift from fall to winter, and an overall sense of fun–and instead focus on the worries of gift giving (be it the expense of the holidays, the stress of finding the “right” thing, etc.), worry about family stress and drama, worry about catching the best deals. You name it, there’s a worry out there about the holidays.


This week, and for the rest of this holiday season, I challenge you to take care of yourself and be truly present in the moment. When we focus on the future and what “could” happen anxiety sets in. Stay with your present feelings and thoughts without judgment, then offer your thoughts and feelings compassion. If you are going about your day tomorrow, for example, and you think, “Oh man, I’m so worried about tomorrow and all I have to do.” Stop. Feel that worry. Allow it to sink in. Then offer yourself compassion by acknowledging that Thanksgiving is a big holiday and there often is a lot to do. Understand that you are one person, and if you feel you need to ask for help, then do. More often than not, people are willing to help, but you need to ask first. The worst they can say is no, and usually there is someone else to ask. Also know if something is forgotten, the world won’t stop turning and everything always works out in the end. Self-compassion without judgment is a constant practice but is very beneficial in helping you navigate stressful (and non-stressful) situations.


I’ve starting reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, and she discusses the feelings our society teaches about unworthiness. We are unworthy to be happy because we are atoning for our sins as it were. She discusses how we are on the move to avoid our feelings of sadness, anxiety, whatever it may be, and I think this is very true during the holiday season. We “have” to be the best at gift giving, we “have” to spend time with family, we “have” to go to that holiday party. We avoid looking at why we may not want to do those things because if we stand up and say we need space or to look after ourselves, people may think ill of us or it may look selfish. But, doing something for the sake of “tradition” even if it makes us feel awful causes resentment, sadness, and anger. Instead, be aware of your feelings and offer yourself that compassion you do deserve. Tara Brach explains that all people have goodness within them and we need to focus on that and preserving that goodness rather than beating ourselves up. If you take care of yourself during this time of year, you will be better equipped to take care of others.

May love and light surround you this Thanksgiving wherever you are and whatever you choose to do.

Keeping Calm Amid Chaos

It’s no news that today is election day and the holiday season is upon us. Politics can cause angst for people, top that off with the stress of the holidays and there is a nice concoction of anxiety, sometimes sadness (be it because some may be alone during the holidays, there may be financial worry, and/or your candidate and issues didn’t go the way you had hoped), and overall stress. So during all of this, how do we as humans stay grounded, calm, and peaceful when this chaos ensues around us? Here are my tips to kick start your calm amid the chaos:


  1. Set boundaries: This may seem simple, but boundaries can be difficult for people to set and moreover, hold. Setting a boundary doesn’t mean you don’t care about others, it’s actually a great way to show you care because you are letting them know you are unable to give all of yourself to them, so you are taking a break and then will be in a better state of mind to come back and help the person. By setting a boundary you are acknowledging that your mental state cannot handle the task and you need a break, and that’s okay! Take those breaks for yourself AND your loved ones. If you cannot talk politics it is more than healthy to say, “Look, I know these issues are important to you and I can see that you need to talk about it. I am feeling overwhelmed by the political talk right now, and I need a break. Would you be willing to put the political discussions on hold?” The same goes for the holidays. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the holiday pressure it is okay to say you need a break and even set a boundary such as one present for your significant other, or suggesting a Secret Santa to help with the financial burden of buying something for everyone (especially if you come from a large family).
  2. Unplug: This is, again, easier said than done. We are plugged into our phones, iPads, Kindles, computers, etc. day in, day out. We don’t get breaks from the media with the notifications from our social media apps and notifications from the news on our phones. It’s easy to be sucked into the political and holiday drama when it’s there, in the palm of our hands. So, unplug. I personally took the Facebook app off of my phone and am now on once per week to share my blog and do a quick skim of the newsfeed and then I’m gone again. It was hard at first, I thought I was missing out on something, but after a couple of days I realized how nice it is to have quiet and rather than comparing my life to those of my friends. I started to be more present with my family and more present with the life I’ve created. I also would encourage putting the phone away for an hour before bed or for an hour after waking up. This is a great way to either end the day or begin it in peace.
  3. Meditate: I know I’m a broken record with this particular point, but it is essential to quiet your mind when drama is around you, that way you can handle it better and are better equipped to manage it when it does come along. Meditating is a great way to block out the world, reset, and be with yourself. Even if for 5 minutes per day, it’s a wonderful way to calm your mind and alleviate stress.
  4. Exercise: Exercise is a great way to release endorphins, which are the hormones that help you feel good after physical activity. Think the “runner’s high.” Those hormones can help alleviate depression and anxiety. Exercise has many benefits, which include weight loss, increased energy, better sleep, stronger bones and muscles, and pain reduction (movement is your friend). If you work, have kids, etc. an exercise routine can seem daunting. Many gyms have free daycare, Pinterest has awesome home workouts, and if you live in an apartment there might be a gym on site (mine is awesome and so convenient). Even playing with the kiddos–dancing, running, playing tag–is a great way to burn calories and get those happy hormones released.
  5. Incorporate self-care: This goes along with numbers 3 and 4, but take it a bit further. If you take care of yourself, you are more able to take care of those around you and face those issues (like politics and the holidays) in a more graceful manner because you’re helping yourself feel good and complete. Yoga is a wonderful self-care regimen. Not only is it meditative, but also it is wonderful movement to release endorphins and strengthen your body. Massage is another way to work on self-care. It can help with pain relief, it is a great way to relax your mind and your body, and it can help alleviate stress. Reiki falls into this too because you can go into a calm, meditative state and leave your worries about politics and/or the holidays at the door and spend time with yourself and working on your self-healing and self-preservation. You can leave those worries at my office door and be there for you on my mat or table during a massage. (I’ve been partaking a lot in massage myself lately!)


This time of year, coupled with the election, can be straining for many people. It is easy to lose sight of ourselves and become lost in the confusion and uproar the holidays and politics can cause. You can, however, overcome it by taking care of yourself in order to communicate peacefully with others and navigate the holiday season with ease. I hope this time of year brings you joy rather than stress. If you’re feeling stress with it, that’s a signal you need to let something go and set boundaries. Love and light to you as this season officially commences and the polls close around the country.


Halloween, or Samhain (pronounced “sow-when”), is a magical time of year. From the Druids, Celtics, Pagans, all the way to the Aztecs, this holiday was one of “bonfires, abundance, and community feasting” (Dugan 99) because it was one of the last days to bring in the last of the harvest and prepare for the cold winter months.  This is a fantastic holiday for “petition magick” in which you write down what you wish to release from the year, burn it, and allow for positive energy for the new year (Dugan 100). You can do this with a fire place, candle, chiminea, or the like. Just make sure to do it safely.


This holiday is really about celebrating the dead; even consider El Dia de los Mertos (the Day of the Dead) on November 2nd, in which Mexicans and Mexican-Americans use skulls, marigolds, and treats to honor their dead. The Druids left prayers, food, and burning candles to the dead, and the people leaving the offerings would wear masks and disguise themselves from roaming, trouble-making spirits (Dugan 102-103). The Celtics would carve turnips or cabbages and leave embers in them to frighten away mischievous spirits, which turned to the pumpkin when Irish and Scottish people immigrated to Canada and the United States. According to Ellen Dugan the colors of black and orange have meaning–orange being energetic, abundant, and symbolize the magic of the fires and setting sun; while black symbolizes the crone and is protective.


This is not an “evil” holiday. This particular holiday is really about death and rebirth–cycles of the earth (born, live, die, rebirth). I look at it as a holiday of letting go and allowing any negativity of the year to be taken with the dark so that it can be transmuted to light. So often we are afraid of darkness, but you cannot have light without the dark. It’s a yin and yang, so to speak. Most of us are reborn in the dark when we sleep, and we awaken in the light feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. The same can be said with Samhain. Use the darkness to let go, honor our loved ones who have gone before us, and allow rebirth (positivity and manifestations) to enter into our lives. And, have fun with it–decorate your homes with Fall colors, carve Jack-O-Lanterns, and take those kiddos trick-or-treating. Blessings to you and your family on this Halloween.


Dugan, Ellen. Seasons of Witchery: Celebrating the Sabbats with the Garden Witch. Woodbury, Llewellyn Publications, 2015.

How do You Achieve Self-forgiveness?

Many of us have done things in our past that have caused others pain. We often feel guilty about those things, which can lead to us making a change and working to better ourselves and healing those relationships that were harmed. Sometimes, though, we go down the black hole of shame and regret. When this happens we beat up ourselves telling ourselves we are no good and deserve what happens to us because “we made our bed and now have to lay in it.” But, is this true? No, because it’s a judgment rather than self-compassion. When we judge ourselves we are sinking into regret, which leads to self-hate.


So, how can we avoid self-hate and judgment and come to a place of self-love and compassion? It’s starts with forgiving oneself. We all know forgiveness of others can be healing as well as freeing, but we often forget self-forgiveness. What does self-forgiveness look like? I found an article that resonated with me talking about the four avenues of self-forgiveness, which include:

  1. “Self-understanding”–What caused you to act the way you did and why? Have you learned from the actions and/or situation? What in your past could have contributed to your actions? Understanding yourself leads to compassion, which leads to forgiveness in an organic way.
  2. “Common humanity”–This is really about understanding that NO human is perfect, and we all make mistakes. When we can really look at ourselves as humans who sometimes mess up, we can forgive ourselves easier.
  3. “Earning forgiveness (taking responsibility, apologizing, and making amends)”–All of this leads to forgiveness of the self because you’re gaining forgiveness of others and are acknowledging your humanness and learning from the mistakes. You’re showing strength and putting the ego aside.
  4. “Asking for forgiveness from a higher power”–This can mean something different to every person. Sometimes the guilt, the shame, and the sadness we feel can be overwhelming so looking to something or someone bigger than ourselves can help alleviate that pain and lead to self-forgiveness.


We all make mistakes. I’m not perfect by any means, and I am currently working on my own self-forgiveness. It takes work and practice. Some days I think, “Yeah, I got this. I figured life out and I’m a rockstar.” While other days sadness can seep in and I think, “You’re awful and deserve what comes to you.” But, this isn’t loving and I have to remind myself that if I wouldn’t say these things to my dog, then I probably shouldn’t say them to myself and I need to be kinder to myself. We all have things within our past that can contribute to our actions in the present. I’m not making excuses, but those past experiences can have an impact and it’s important to be mindful and learn how those experiences can impact us and how to learn and grow from them so that we don’t make the same mistakes over and over. It’s essential to work on healing ourselves because when healed, forgiveness and compassion come easier. Remember, if you make a mistake, don’t beat yourself up. It doesn’t do anything except make you feel terrible. Instead, reflect on what happened, ask for forgiveness from others and then work on self-compassion and healing in order to eventually forgive yourself. “This too shall pass” – Unknown.


Updates from Last Week

Well, Miss Hermione has pancreatitis. I wish she had nothing, but this is a much better diagnosis than cancer! Of course this is the diagnosis should nothing else come up. If she starts getting sick, even on her new food, then we have to do more testing. I’m optimistic though because she’s acting like her normal self–she is eating well and is acting healthy overall.


This definitely got me thinking though. I know I mentioned it last week, but this entire process with my fur baby opened my eyes. I think we all have a tendency, whether it’s subconscious or not, to take those we love for granted…human and non-human animals alike. I started to wonder why this is. I think a big part of it is because we get very caught up in our busy lives and we think (again, I think it’s subconscious for most of us), Oh, they will love us and be there for us no matter what (which is probably true) so it’s fine to just go about my business. In going about that business we forget to be appreciative of those who love us. Even showing appreciation in small ways. With our fellow humans we love, a gentle “Thank you”, a hug, or even a small token like making the coffee one morning for them can be a huge gesture. For our fur babies, a pet, a kind word (they can feel the energy behind tone), or a few extra minutes on a walk can help them feel that love they so willingly give to us.

In getting caught up in the busy lifestyle most of us have–work, kids, kids’ activities, dinner, bills, etc.–we lose sight of that appreciation, yes, but also we can lack awareness. I’ve mentioned mindfulness before. When we practice mindfulness we are aware of our feelings, the feelings of those around us, and therefor are able to show appreciation and gratitude toward those we love more easily. When we are in the moment and truly present we can show those close to us that we acknowledge what they do for us and vice versa. Even when our emotions and feelings aren’t “great”–impatient, frustrated, angry–we can still hold space for ourselves and those we love. It’s a sign of awareness to let them know (even the furry friends) that we aren’t in a good spot and may need space. That allows you to come to a place of peace and better emotion to then show that love and appreciation for them. You can take a timeout by going to your room, reading a book, or stepping outside, then you can be 100% present for your loved ones and yourself.


Today I got frustrated with Miney (Hermione’s nickname) because she wanted to chase squirrels, was pulling on her leash, and was singing the song of her people (barking). I told her I was feeling impatient and I swear she understood. When we got home from a frustrating walk I went into the bedroom to take a few breaths, and when I came out she was laying in the corner (she often puts herself in timeout when she can feel my frustration). I got down on my knees and called her over. She came and gave me a “Miney hug” (she rests her head against me), panted softly, and wagged her tail. I told her I was sorry I was frustrated because I know she was just being a dog. She licked my hand and we made up. I love her and even in moments of weakness, we can still come together and make up…just like any relationship. They truly are family.

They are Family

This week I got a big scare with my dog, Hermione. For a little back-story, my husband and I adopted her 6 years ago when she was approximately 6 weeks old. She was found in a hoarder home in New Mexico with her mom and her sister. We took her home, and I was instantly in love. I named her Hermione because I’m a huge Harry Potter fan and know that Border Collies are smart, and being that Hermione is the smart and clever character, it just fit her.


She was not an easy puppy—she chewed on everything (my bookcase still has puppy teeth marks on one of the legs), she was a digger, and she had (and still has) an attitude. But, I was right in choosing her name. She is very smart. She picked up the Frisbee quickly, she learned tricks easily, and, when she wants to, she will train (but it is more on her terms). Hermione is notorious for her grumpiness. If she is sleeping and you walk by her she will growl (never in a mean way, but in a way to say, “How dare you disturb my sleep?”). She does have minor food aggression, which we attribute to her difficult start in life. And she loves to bark and sing the song of her people at the slightest noise. Despite her faults, she is a sweetie. She gives “Miney hugs” meaning she will lean her head against your leg and relax as you give her love and pets. She has her people—my husband, my son, my friends, and me—she adores and would protect should anyone try anything shady. She’s clever and knows how to manipulate the system to get her way. I sometimes get annoyed with her smarts but then chuckle because she is so smart and uses that to be naughty.


On Sunday, after a beautiful fall walk, she became very lethargic and started getting sick all over the floor. This morning she got sick outside and refused to eat breakfast, so I called the vet and they said to come in as soon as I could. At first they thought it might be a blockage (but that’s not one of the bad things Hermione does; she doesn’t eat weird things). Her X-Rays came back negative and her blood work was okay. They are thinking pancreatitis, or worse…cancer. The vet said she is young and Borders typically are not cancer prone but she doesn’t want to rule that out because Hermione has had gradual weight loss since August and this is the 4th time since July that she has had stomach issues. My heart sank. All those times I got mad at her for barking, pulling on her leash, or just being a dog made me feel sad, guilty, and just heartbroken. I then remembered what I’ve been writing about for the past few months—healing comes from within, forgiveness of oneself is healing, and acceptance is healing. Healing is self-love and self-care, even when it is difficult to endure. No matter what the diagnosis, I know my husband and I gave her a good home, she is spoiled, she has fun, and she is very loved. I ask the Divine that it is nothing serious (at the very least, pancreatitis would just require a special diet for the rest of her life, but wouldn’t be a death sentence). This is raw for me. We all have faced the potential loss of a loved one and most of us have lost loved ones. Our companion animals are no different; they are family. I’m hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. I take her back in tomorrow, hence the early blog, for a follow up exam and to determine what is going on. I ask for love and light to surround my girl. Thank you all for your love, support, and for being with me not only as a businesswoman and business owner but as a person.

Why Emotional Healing is Necessary

Working through pain and trauma is something that’s essential for everyone because if you don’t, you end up feeling stuck, depressed, anxious, angry, frustrated, and even numb. When we have emotional pain and avoid it, then it begins to bubble beneath the surface and eventually can feel worse. When we avoid the emotional hurts and pretend they aren’t there, we are not honoring ourselves and living in the present (even if the present isn’t rainbows and butterflies). Being present allows you to be compassionate with yourself and others and allows you the space you need to work through your emotional healing.


We’ve all been here–needing that time to heal–but most of us don’t know how to work through it or where to begin. For me, I started with my counselor, Jacey Tramutt, who has given me tools like Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, EMDR, and overall trauma work where I started to put the puzzle together that emotional healing is a process. Jacey has a picture in her office that says “You have to feel to heal,” and it’s so true. I would rather run from my feelings and pretend they aren’t there, but that isn’t allowing me the space I need to feel better nor is it being authentic–in fact, it’s lying to myself that everything is fine when in reality something needs healing, so I can be the best version of myself. When you are present with your feelings and emotional pain it can be easy to judge those feelings and put a negative spin on them, but try not to because those feelings and the manifestations of those feelings are how your mind and body work through them in order to feel better and let them go in a healthy way.

Other ways to help work through emotional healing are surrounding yourself with friends and a support group to whom you can go when feeling down, taking a break from the pain, learning from the experience, and moving on. Supportive people in your life allow you space and compassion from others who may be able to relate to you and offer sound advice or simply be a shoulder to cry on. Taking a break from the pain doesn’t mean ignoring the pain, but sometimes you do need to cut loose and take a step back. Yoga can be healing as well as meditation, exercise, massage, and even going to the movies. This allows you to acknowledge that you are healing but also that you are going to still enjoy life even when emotions can be overwhelming; healthy compartmentalizing allows you to give your mind a rest so when you go back to healing work you are rested and equipped to handle it. Learning from the experience and the healing process in general allows you to be able to have self-compassion as well as empathy for others with whom you may come into contact and are having trouble. Letting go is the final step  in the healing process. If you hold onto pain it can define you and, whether intentionally or not, can put you into the role of victim and doesn’t allow one to live and enjoy life. Rather than allowing emotional pain define you, see where it can lead you. When you work through your pain you will come out and see that it was meant to happen to eventually better yourself and those around you. I can attest to this–I have a narcissistic mother and rather than feel sorry for myself, I have used those experiences with her to parent in a more compassionate way toward my son, I try to be empathetic and kind when listening to others’ emotional pain, and I created my own family that is a mixture of men and women who empower me and whom I empower.


We all have our demons and those things we wish we could forget and run away from, but they don’t go away until you face them. It’s uncomfortable and certainly not always easy, but it’s well-worth the work because you end up feeling whole. Love and light on your healing journey.

Autumn Approaches

The autumn equinox is quickly upon us, and I can’t help but be excited and ready for it. Fall is my absolute favorite time of year–the cooler weather, the beautiful transformation the leaves display, everything pumpkin, Marzen lagers (also known as Oktoberfest beers), and the crisp evenings that beg for a cup of hot tea to calm you after a long day. Yes, fall is amazing.

There is another reason why I love this beautiful time of year–the Autumn Equinox. Some people refer to it as Mabon, but as Ellen Dugan, author of Seasons of Witchery, explains “there is no ancient pagan festival of Mabon.” She explains that centuries ago in Europe, harvest festivals were celebrated but it wasn’t on a set day, it was after the large harvests were complete and this varied depending on where one lived in Europe. The celebrations were of thanks for the bountiful harvests provided by the goddesses and gods. Some people today refer to the autumn equinox as “The Witch’s Thanksgiving.”


So, why make a big deal over the equinox? The equinox “marks the time of equal daylight and nighttime hours and the true beginning of the fall season,” which is a perfect time to meditate on balance, stability within your life, and “[bringing] prosperity and abundance to your home…” (Dugan 68). This is a time on which we can all reflect what we have and be truly grateful–all of the food with which we are blessed thanks to Mother Earth and the wonderful farmers, our homes, our families, the cooler days, etc. Autumn is a fun time–think about it, we have Halloween (or Samhain), Thanksgiving, and pumpkin lattes! Okay, so maybe the lattes are a bit of a stretch but this is such a beautiful time of year, and it’s a great time to reflect on that beauty and even bring it into your life. A wonderful way to bring autumn’s beauty into your life is to decorate for it. Personally, I have garlands of fall colored leaves I’ve draped on my decorative shelves, I have a silver pumpkin on my altar (some use white pumpkins because they represent the moon, but in my mind silver is more “moon-like”, but taylor it to you), and I have a happy autumn wreath on my door complete with mini pumpkins, gourds, acorns, and leaves. Ellen Dugan has a good five pages in her book that explains how to decorate for the equinox, and I’ve definitely taken it to heart. I want Fall inside and out!


The day for the autumn equinox varies from year to year. Usually it falls between September 20th and the 24th. Autumn officially begins when the calendar falls into the sign of Libra. This year it’s on September 22nd, and the harvest moon is on the 24th (so it’s a double celebration; the harvest moon is the full moon closest to the equinox so sometimes it can land in October). “The traditional magicks associated with the Harvest Moon include abundance, prosperity, and completion” (Dugan 77), so the night of the Harvest moon is a perfect time to reflect on that which makes you thankful. I will be doing a Harvest Moon ritual in which I will set my altar up with my silver pumpkin along with acorns, pine cones, apples (all to show thanks for the abundance in my life), a white candle (to symbolize the full moon), an orange candle (to symbolize the fall season), and my citrine crystal (another symbol of the fall season). I will then work my magick (similar to Ms. Dugan’s in her book) and give thanks for all I have and focus on the abundance I will continue to have throughout this fall season and onward. Every person celebrates this a little differently, but this is my take. You can make it your own. I hope you have a wonderful autumn equinox; I’m elated it’s so close. Love and light to you!


Dugan, Ellen. Seasons of Witchery. Woodbury, Llewellyn Publications, 2015.